Tobiah, "God is good"

James 1:2-4 - "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Life is precious. Even the tiniest little ones are a precious gift from God. From conception, these tiny babies are people. They are not a ‘fetus’ or a ‘ball of cells’. They are human beings who deserve care and protection. I know some would disagree with me, but I think if they had experienced what I did on Thursday, September 4, 2008, they would change their minds.

This is the day my third child, Tobiah Edward Seymour, was born. I held him in my hands and I could not believe what I saw. I was shaking, and crying. My legs gave out under me and I almost dropped to the floor. My baby was only ten weeks old.

I was almost 3 months pregnant when I woke up in the middle of the night. I crouched on my bed in severe pain, bleeding. I knew what was happening. I was having labor pains. And my baby was only ten weeks old. I was rushed to the hospital. The ultrasound confirmed, that indeed, my baby was not alive.

Only several hours later, Tobiah entered this world in body. The little person I held was only one inch long. Yet, he had eyes, a little nose and mouth. He had arms and legs. And the image that I cannot escape, the one that is continually bringing me to tears, are his five little slender fingers. I stared at those little fingers in unbelief. Some would proclaim that he was not a viable human being. But, his fingers, perfect, tiny little fingers prove otherwise. He was my little boy, my baby.

At ten weeks old, Tobiah could kick and straighten his legs. He could move his arms up and down. He had a developed brain and a beating heart. He was aware of his body parts and probably wrapped those tiny little fingers around the things in his environment to feel his surroundings. He had fingerprints. He could suck his thumb. He could squint, swallow, move his tongue and make fists.

Tobiah was with the Lord before I had the chance to see him. He lay still in my hands. But, at that same time, the time I spent looking at his precious little body, he was with Jesus, in heaven.

I will be missing out on Tobiah’s life here on earth. And this is painful. But, I find I am not mourning for Tobiah, I am mourning for myself. I miss my baby. But, I rejoice in the fact that I have eternity to get to know my child. I look forward to meeting him someday, and spending eternity with him.

My family continues to grieve the loss of our little one. While, at the same time, my baby rejoices to be with his Lord, free of the shackles of sin that now bind the rest of us and surround us in this broken world. My little one will never know what it is to fight the temptations of the flesh, to see the evil in this world, to experience sickness. He is blessed beyond the rest of us. He was rushed off to see his Lord. He knows nothing of the struggles of this world, God has truly protected and shielded him, and for this I am thankful. We miss you and love you Tobiah.